A Million Years Ago

I went to Elmwood. Actually, I have a history there. That history now involves a statue giving me the finger:

This statue is right inside the front gate, mind you. In Memphis, even the gravestones are gangsta. I also saw a lot of really pretty, obviously very old graves with strange juxtaposition to large trees:

Clearly somebody was there first, tree. You're all up in his Kool-Aid. I saw the grave of a super-crazy guy who would have been my BFF. He had a feud going on with somebody else and their family, and when he died, he dedicated his belongings with the caveat that his progeny must carry on the feud after him. That is tenacity, folks. Here is Mr. Bolton, memorialized in stone:

I also saw the graves of a hooker with a heart of gold, and a murderous lesbian. I didn't get pictures of those sites, though, because it was HOT outside and the air conditioning in the car felt great. I did however, capture true love:

Les and Pam forever, y'all. In addition to finding true love in a cemetery, I also found the final resting place of my favorite character from O Brother Where Art Thou? and his name is spelled exactly as it is pronounced in the movie:

(J/K about the favorite character part. I don't have a favorite character from that movie. I love them all! I think it's Antonia that has a more special affinity for this character, so she's the one to talk to.)

My One-Sided Love Affair

I'm probably the only person you know that has Elvis 8-tracks.

I mean, I'm not a crazy Elvis fan, but I admit to having a certain admiration for the man.  It's possible that I have an Elvis doll.  Or two.  And I definitely have several records.  Oh, and books.  And postcards.  And a purse.   And a clock where Elvis' body is the top part and his legs are the swinging pendulum.  Wait, I have a cd box set; I'd forgotten about that.

FINE, and I also have this huge rug-thing with his picture on it, that may actually be a wall hanging, or something,  but I sure don't know what the hell to do with it.

Uhh ... these were all gifts, I swear. 

Anyway.  That is the introduction for our next stop on the tour, which was the shrine of the First Church of the Elvis Impersonator, currently residing at Goner Records in Midtown. 

Apparently the "church" used to be a real thing, back when the shrine was housed in Java Cabana, the coffeehouse down the street.  Its owner got licensed on the internet and conducted weddings for diehard Elvis fans.  I am writing this down for future reference if my current job doesn't work out.



I completely expected to see something unbelievably cheesetastic and, you guys, my expectations were much too low.  Check it: